Roommate relations

There is a series of other things I should be doing, including clipping my toenails, hemming a dress and dropping off my job application at a local three-dollar movie theatre, but I can’t stop thinking about the concept of roommate relations.

I have a roommate. His name is Jonathan Gibby (plug added because I want to stay on his good side forever). We share a bedroom and our beds are a yard apart. Lately, we have been arguing. There’s not too much of a reason behind it (except maybe that we’re taking our stress out on each other), but lo and behold, tensions have started to rise, kind of like a blister that slowly inflates, full of puss and other gross stuff. Thankfully, this puss-bubble was burst yesterday and things are cooling down, but still, I always wonder… What is it about roommates that causes this to happen?

Exhibit A: Frequent Face Time: I had another roommate a few years ago. We were best friends, we did everything together, every single day. We had classes together, went grocery shopping together, went on midnight drives together.. EV-REE-THING. Insert boy I started to like… who she could not stand. Our friendship went on the fritz. Kaput. Being around each other became a task, I started sneaking my conversations with this boy behind her back and eventually hid in my room most of the time. Eventually, I realized she was right about that guy, and I started dating another guy who she was more fond of, spent more time with him away from our place and in his instead, and now my friendship with her is a lot more lax. Granted, we don’t see each other much, but at least there isn’t a shred of insincerity or deception. However, I feel that if we had never been roommates, we would still be just as close as we were back then.

Exhibit B: The Slob Job: I had a set of three girl roommates one year awhile back. They were all really nice girls, but there was one problem: they never ever, ever, ever, ever did the dishes. I mean, we’re talking.. weeks worth of piles of stuff in the sink, though there was a perfectly empty, working dishwasher adjacent. Every couple of weeks, I would get frustrated, put angry music on my iPod and scrub away for a few hours before cleaning the rest of the kitchen and living room, all while grumbling irritable words under my breath, mostly just, “Are you freaking kidding me?”s and “Who does that?”s.

Exhibit C: Late Fees: I have fortunately never experienced this one to any sort of extreme extent, but I know a lot of people who have had roommates who are constantly late with bills and rent, causing late fees for everyone involved. Paying on time really isn’t that hard, I’m pretty sure… unless you are financially unstable, in which case.. how can you afford rent anyway?

Exhibit D: The Dwelling Pirate: One of my roommates had a friend stay with us for two weeks. He slept in that roommate’s room, not mine or the living room, he was quiet, he was awesome, funny and nice and we were actually sad to see him leave. My roommate has a girlfriend and she is the sweetest thing and we are friends, so it’s fine if she wants to stay the night. These are pretty much one in 20 case scenarios. Most times, the dreaded housing-mooch is utterly unbearable. First, they come over, stay the night on your couch. It’s fine. They’re good conversation, and if your roommate (friend?) likes them, they must be pretty cool, right? Sure! Then, they start staying over more, a few nights a week. It’s okay.. they don’t make too much of a mess, sure, they can borrow a towel, they even cleaned up after themselves! Soon, you notice things. They didn’t fold their blankets. I’m almost out of shampoo, but they’re using it anyway — without asking anymore. Their dirty dishes are in the sink. They missed the trash can in an attempt to “totes Kobe it!” and left their garbage on the floor. They download movies on their computers, hogging up the precious internet that wasn’t even too fast to begin with. You start noticing that they chew with their mouths open, that they snort when they laugh, that they spill all over themselves, that they pee all over the toilet seat (even if they’re a girl… seriously). They, too, are always light sleepers, so forget going to the kitchen in the middle of the night for a glass of water. You will wake them up and be the bane of the household. Shame on you, you have forgotten that this person — who doesn’t pay rent or utilities — definitely has the final say in everything.

I mean, these are just the negative aspects. Having roommates can be a wonderful, wonderful thing. Sometimes, I’ll get overwhelmingly sad, and a roommate will put on my Wayne’s World DVD, I’ll start reciting the movie line for line, and feel a lot better. Or even just having someone around to hug, that’s always nice. Plus, the halvsies on rent is convenient.

In closing, I throw out this question to you: What sort of roommate drama and successes have you had?

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